The way I operate and do therapy is not for everyone. That’s not a bad or good thing. It’s not some kind of judgement statement.

It’s just an “is what it is” kind of thing.

The clients that tend to get the most our of working with me are ones that are willing to explore things about their life, themselves, and others with curiosity (even if it means they may feel an immense amount of resistance or discomfort to whatever it is they find out).

They’re interested in digging in and trying to figure out why they believe certain things. And to sit with and hold space for what they find, not run away from it. They’re willing to learn how to be compassionate enough with themselves to not look “perfect” or pristine while doing it.

Depth work—or really any kind of real personal growth work—can be messy and uncomfortable. Especially when you’re starting out in it. It often involves talking through and exploring a lot of things we’d really rather not talk about or think about.

Especially with someone else witnessing us sort through it in the moment.

It takes courage to be in the process, really in the thick of things, and not always delivering a finished product to someone once you’ve done the dirty work on your own out of view.

It can involve looking at some really painful moments in our lives and hanging in there long enough to feel or think about them in new ways. Which sounds all fine and good, but in practice, it can sometimes feel like you’d much rather keep stuffing it down and attempting to go about your life pretending this stuff isn’t there.

Which is incredibly valid, by the way! I know first hand how heavy this stuff can hit sometimes, and it’s not something the majority of people have any interest in doing, or even the luxury of having capacity to let themselves fall apart or be messy.

Another thing that could turn some people off to working with me is that I do look at things from a systemic lens. Which means exploring ways our behaviors and beliefs have been shaped by things like gender-role socialization, family structures, religious teachings, and societal conditioning from living in a world built on white supremacy, systemic oppression, and hierarchical power structures.

If those things sound too much like lefty political nonsense and/or completely irrelevant to therapy, you’ll dislike working with me. Or at the very least, feel wildly uncomfortable in an undesired way. And I don’t want that for anyone.

And, as you can probably tell, I’m wordy. I love words. And I am particularly fond of using swear words as accent words. And I use self-disclosure a lot in therapy as a way to help some concepts and theories come to life in a practical way. Because if you can really understand it and see how things play out, it can help something land with a little more embodiment and faster than if we just talk about things theoretically.

Lastly, if you're wanting to stick to learning some basic coping skills, focusing only on the future without exploring how your past has shaped you in the present, or if you're looking for a therapist who will listen but never challenge you or ask questions, I'm probably not the best fit—and that's also totally okay.

There is no wrong way to do therapy. I simply mention these things to give you important information to help you make an informed decision about your care.

Therapy gets to look however you want or need it to. And there are so many phenomenal therapists out there, and I guarantee you'll find someone who's your cup of tea and fits what you’re wanting!